


Kodoku

by thyandra



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul:re
Genre: (mostly), But really it only applies to one ficlet, Canon Compliant, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Rated T for Violence, individual ficlets will have their own tags when required
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-11 20:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thyandra/pseuds/thyandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kodoku | こどく (孤独): Isolation, loneliness<br/>A collection of stand-alone short fics for Hideweek. I'm reposting them from my tumblr to keep them better organized. Keep in mind that each work can be read on its own but most of them are linked to each other anyway.<br/>Day 1 - Of packed boxes and change.<br/>Day 2 - Of Sunflowers and fears.<br/>Day 3 - Of book signings and chess.<br/>Day 4 - Of white ceilings and bets.<br/>Day 5 - Of haunting memories and denial.<br/>Day 6 - Of volatile passions and secrets.<br/>Day 7 - Of queens, kings and checkmates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of packed boxes and change

**Author's Note:**

> Moving out can't be all that bad if mom is talking about it with a smile on her face, can it?  
> But six-year-old Hide already recognizes a fake smile when he sees one.

“It will be fine,” the adults had assured him with what a six-year-old Hide already recognized to be a strained and tired smile, giving a tight nod to emphasize the point, or maybe just to convince themselves, Hide couldn’t be sure. He hadn’t said anything, just standing in the emptying alleyway of his soon-to-be abandoned home, watching with rapt attention the boxes piled up there being slowly carried to the awaiting car with the engine running, hasty scribbles written on them in barely legible kana. He recognized the syllables of his own name amongst them and tried a smile.

He mused with childlike wonder how one of those boxes could contain all of his world inside it, then speculated that that’s what spaceships were probably made up of, and then remembered Hiroshi-kun’s sad face as he was giving him his baseball cap. Suddenly, Hide’s smile felt strained. No, that couldn’t be true; the cap had fit perfectly in the box, in a way that Hiroshi-kun himself possibly couldn’t.

Momma passed him by and distractedly ruffled his head of blond hair, a bouquet of bright flowers in her other hand. He remembered them. Momma had said that they would brighten their new place, make it feel more like a home with their touch of spring. Hide had nodded, knowing that momma had always loved spending her afternoons curved on their porch, hands and knees dirtied with soil and gardening tools and plant pots scattered all around her.

It will be fine, they had said, and Hide now thought that maybe not everything had to change. He would still have his momma by his side, wouldn’t he? Maybe something else could change, and Hide hoped that the crease on momma’s forehead would finally disappear, once they were in their new home. He hoped there would be a porch there, too, where she could plant her bright flowers and Hide could practice baseball, just like he’d promised to Hiroshi-kun. He’d need a friend for that, though.

“Are you ready?” momma asked, crouching to his level and pinching his nose lightly. “I’m sure you will make a lot of new friends and keep in contact with the old ones.” She cupped his cheeks affectionately. “I expect no less from by baby boy. Now go upstairs and take your bag, ok? We’ll be hitting the road real soon, if we don’t want to miss your first day of school, tomorrow!” she concluded with a light squeeze and a kiss to his forehead, before letting him go.

Hide saw the worry in her eyes even though she was trying to mask it behind a carefree smile. She was the bravest person Hide had ever met, and so he nodded, giving her his brightest and most genuine smile. He was going to be brave about this, too.

With an uncharacteristical but determined frown, he decided that he was going to get a friend first thing after the move out. Yeah, he could do that, he nodded to himself. Momma was right, it was going to be fine, he reasoned, childlike innocence kicking in again as he hopped on the car, bag at hand and happiness in his eyes, as he looked at the passing scenery of unknowing and hopeful spring. Things would look up, like a spring flower blooming from the hardened soil of winter.

After all he was never going to lose a friend again, right?


	2. Of sunflowers and fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long would it take until he could admit to himself that he was defined by his own attachments, and that he didn’t know how to do without them?
> 
> How long till he could face his own feelings, and not put them in second place?

If you asked Hide what his favourite color was, he would probably shrug one shoulder, pretend to be seriously contemplating the question, and then blurt out a cheerful cry of “Yellow, like the colour of cheese, fries, and everything that’s good in the world!”

The honest answer, though, was that Hide really didn’t know, or never actually stopped to care.

Yellow was the colour of the pale walls of his old home’s kitchen, the only thing he could actually recall from his childhood, beside his cheeks stained white from flour and cookie dough, and a yellow apron surrounding his mother’s hips as his buttered fingers held on to it to get her attention.

Yellow had been his mother’s favourite color. The color of the sunflowers that always reappeared in their garden come summer even after they’d moved out.

Freudian mistake? Maybe.

Possibly.

But Hide didn’t read much at the time he bought the first hair dye, packed in an obnoxiously yellow box. Even if he had known, he would still not care.

Maybe it had just been nostalgia. After all, he had been blond too, as a child, he mused with a lopsided smile. Weird how things ended up not shifting much from their axis even when change did happen. Just like with Hiroshi-kun when he’d moved out. He’d never kept in contact, and neither had his old friend, the baseball cap kept in the box, gathering layers of dust.

Maybe it was nostalgia, or maybe just stubbornness, he thought as he gave the cashier one of his brightest insincere smiles as she rung his purchase.

His hair had been blond as a kid, and since they had darkened to his current light brown, dimmed and anonymous, he’d started bleaching them, because deep down Hide had never truly faced his fear of change. Plus, hair dye was a commitment, and he desperately wanted to test his limits.

And boy, he had limits.

How long would it take until he could admit to himself that he was defined by his own attachments, and that he didn’t know how to do without them?

How long till he could face his own feelings, and not put them in second place?

He felt tears well up in his eyes, because he had no answer. Kaneki had left him, hadn’t he? Without a goodbye or a second thought. Was this really change though? Didn’t they all leave him?

Hah, Hide thought, carding a hand through his hair. There it is again, _the fear_. Summer was here again, his mother had passed away and no more sunflowers adorned his porch. And, honestly?

Hide still didn’t know what his favourite colour was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149366506774/hideweek-day-two-summer-yellow-if-you-asked).   
>  I should probably mention here too that this drabble is both a subtle jab at the fandom and an attempt at an introspection. I _do_ believe that Hide is a bit defined by his attachments, but not in a sidekick way. More like he doesn't know how to let go.   
>  Anyway please let me know what you thought of it, be it a good or bad impression, if you're still reading! I don't mind constructive criticism, it's better than seeing the views go up but receiving no input!


	3. Of book signings and chess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her hair was green, long and soft looking, despite being so incredibly messy. And yet, he wouldn’t have described her as beautiful. Captivating, that was a word that fit her better. Captivating, like the cunning glint in her eyes, the practiced elegance of her moves, the carefree way she smiled politely but slyly, and the meticulously crafted and polished mask of belonging.  
> Oh, I understand, Hide thought, putting up a front of his own, playing dumb. She’s a pretender, too.

A tuft of light hair was the first thing he saw, curiosity and wariness the first things he felt.

He blinked.

Green. Her hair was green, long and soft looking, despite being so incredibly messy. And yet, he wouldn’t have described her as beautiful. Captivating, that was a word that fit her better. Captivating, like the cunning glint in her eyes, the practiced elegance of her moves, the carefree way she smiled politely but slyly, and the meticulously crafted and polished mask of belonging.

Looking at her stage felt like playing chess.

_Oh, I understand_ , Hide thought, putting up a front of his own, playing dumb. _She’s a pretender, too_.

Just as suddenly, he understood Kaneki’s fascination with her writing. He could see it clearly, now, in ways that her fatalistic words had never worked for him. He could see it now that he had her eyes in front of his. He could see the missing piece. Everything about her spoke of fiction, not just the open book on her desk. She was as much of an actress as his best friend had been. She was as much of a manipulator as Hide was.

Who was this ghoul woman, and what was her goal? Hide didn’t know. But talking to her made him uneasy in ways that sparked his burning curiosity even more. The way she held herself spoke of confidence. Her eyes spoke of mysteries not yet unraveled and of danger. Her determination spoke of frustration.

Was there any place for loneliness left, too?

_I do wonder_ , he thought. _Are you afraid, too, of acknowledging your feelings?_

Hide didn’t know what made him decide to play her game. Maybe it was the way she reminded him so strongly of Kaneki. Or maybe just all the reasons why he recognized they were so different.

_Or do you think you’re immune to them, like him?_

Empathy had never been one of Hide’s best traits. That had always been Kaneki’s role. Intuition and perceptiveness, those were his guns on the battlefield. And right now, his intuition was warning him against this woman with as much of a wolfish smile as his own, and a darkness Hide would never understand creeping up behind her every word.

It felt like playing chess, but was she a pawn or was she the queen? Hide couldn’t be sure. But the last time he let this woman have the upper hand, her book had set his best friend up for tragedy.

Did she know about Kaneki? Did she even know where he was?

It was irrational, but he had a feeling she did. And maybe he was stepping on a minefield, but his intuition was usually right, and he had time on his hands. Should he follow this woman’s trail, too? Or should he let her follow his, and see where it led him?

It was dangerous, that much he knew since they’d met eyes. This could backfire, he rationalized with an uncharacteristic calmness. No pretender ever likes to be unmasked. He didn’t even have any idea if any of this could lead him closer to Kaneki. But what sort of strategist didn’t take a risk?

Her ink signed the name of their missing connection, Kaneki Ken, right beside her own, and she smiled at him again. He smiled back, sheepish, fake as she was, and bowed in farewell.

_Let’s have a good match._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149416666029/hideweek-day-three-autumn-green-a-tuft-of).  
>  I've been wishing to write about those two for a long time, so I immediately jumped on the train when Hideweek gave me the chance I was waiting for.   
> I know it's mostly just my bias speaking, but I really do believe that Eto and Hide's personalities are a lot similar, and I find this even more fascinating in light of the opposite purpose they serve in the story and their opposite relationship with Kaneki.   
> Ok, I'm done with my ramblings, but please do let me know what you thought of this ficlet, if you're still with me!


	4. Of white ceilings and bets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter had been his favourite season once. He had loved the cozy atmosphere, the way life seemed to slow down even in a big city like Tokyo as colourful umbrellas danced under the rain and shoulders were squeezed under their surface to keep from catching a cold, borrowing each other’s warmth in the meantime.
> 
> Now, winter just accentuated the cold feeling of loneliness in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: This fic follows the headcanon that Hide got injured on his arm after his run in with Kaneki in the sewers, and consequently had to get it partially amputated. If you’re not comfortable with this kind of content, you may want to avoid reading this fic.

Winter had been his favourite season once. He had loved the feel of thick blankets cocooning him in his sleep, the hot cappuccinos warming his mornings up, or the way his fingers would trace sarcastic words on car windows fogged up from the biting cold. He had loved the cozy atmosphere, the way life seemed to slow down even in a big city like Tokyo as colourful umbrellas danced under the rain and shoulders were squeezed under their surface to keep from catching a cold, borrowing each other’s warmth in the meantime.

Now, winter just accentuated the cold feeling of loneliness in his chest. Two years and counting, and he still had to get used to the feeling. 

It wasn’t like Hide regretted what he’d done, per se. Sure, waking up each day to the sight of a white ceiling and the smell of antiseptic had tarnished that resolution on his bad days, especially when he’d just woken up with a start from his nightmares, his _memories_ of a screaming Kaneki with brain matter leaking from the holes in his head, or from the phantom feel of residual pain on his right arm that sometimes still coursed through his body, sending him out of balance, ignoring the screams of his mind which rationalized that he couldn’t feel pain, not after _the arm was no longer there_.

Still, on his good days, the pain of his heart-wrenching loneliness would override that of any physical deficiency or mental instability. The never subsiding terror of having escaped death by the skin of his teeth had never worked as a deterrent for him, and the daily reminder of how much of his sanity and moral grounding he’d lost along the way only added up to his restlessness, to the urge of recovering impossibly sooner, to be able to step on the checkered field again.

Hide huffed, the sound lost in the midst of his own thoughts, and sagged against his cushions. He tilted his head to look outside the window, and was glad to see that they’d at least kept true on their promise to leave the curtains drawn back. If he couldn’t be a part of the moving and buzzing life of Tokyo, he at least wanted to witness it.

Hide wasn’t stupid. He knew why they had been so reluctant to oblige his wishes of looking outside.

Hide knew that looking at the winter season only made him feel shittier. But it had been more than two years that he hadn’t gotten to spend one with his best friend. Two years without celebratory visits to Big Girl on the 20th of December, two years without shared slices of supermarket birthday cake.

Kaneki used to complain that it tasted stale and bland, but always gave in and bought one after Hide reminded him of that time they’d used salt instead of sugar when they’d tried to bake one themselves.

He wondered if Kaneki, no, _Sasaki_ would wish to get a convenience store birthday cake now. Even if he couldn’t taste it anymore.

With tears welling up in his eyes he realized that no, he wouldn’t. Because he didn’t remember it was his birthday anyway.

_How could he have forgotten?_

No, that wasn’t the right train of thoughts.

_Would he still be willing to remember?_

With a shake of his head, Hide looked away, staring at his white ceiling instead. Christmas was behind the corner. Maybe he could still give him a present.

Reaching for his bedside table, he took his phone and unlocked the screen, searching for Chie’s contact information. It took him a while to type the message with only one hand, but eventually he hit send.

> **To** : Hori Chie
> 
> **subject** : Ill give u my mazinga collection. it’s original
> 
> need u to ship sth for me. Ill text u the address but first u have to go get the book from my apartment since im stuck here

He wondered if he was misjudging the timing. It might be too early to set things in motion. He might be about to make a giant mistake. Hide didn’t know anything about this Sasaki person after all. There was no way to tell if he’d want to reach for his past again. Maybe he’d just treasure the second chance Kaneki had never been given.

Maybe it was wrong of Hide to push him in the way he wished for Kaneki to take.

He thought back at Takatsuki-san’s cunning smile and mused, _does it count as a difference, leaving the choice up to him, if I think that I know which direction he’ll take?_

He had no answer. But hopefully, Kaneki would at least understand his warning.

After all there was no way he could have a second chance for a better life if he trusted those wolves in sheep’s clothing, he mused, thinking back at how Marude had never acted upon his tip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149458245574/hideweek-day-four-winter-blue-an-this-fic)


	5. Of haunting memories and denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide keeps quiet from his spot on the ground. I can’t quite see the look on his face from this angle, nor do I feel like I need to.
> 
> “You realize this is a dream, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this work was inspired by falsehero's beautiful [art](http://falsehero.tumblr.com/post/146948970529/and-end). Please take a look at it before you read this. I swear it’s gorgeous. One of her best pieces, imho.  
> Sorry in advance if this drabble might appear more focused on Kaneki than Hide. I just wanted to explore Kaneki’s perception of him. Dunno if I succeeded.

I wake up to the sounds of blood dripping down to the floor. It echoes in the vastness of the room, making it hard to focus on anything else beside the steady, maddening mantra of tiny drip drops on a checkered tiles, marking each second with their ominous reverberations.

“Are you awake, yet?”

I pause to consider it. Does it make a difference?

The chipper voice doesn’t relent. “Aw, man, don’t give me that! I know you must be awake!”

How would you recognize dreaming from reality?

“You’re probably frowning, aren'tcha?”

I feel the lump building in my throat before I realize I’ve opened my mouth to say something, anything, except that words won’t come. Instead, tears well up in my eyes as I sag against the hard metal that keeps my wrists chained to my chair. It’s futile. They won’t break, I tell myself, without even trying to force them open.

“Hide, I-”

“Mh, mh. I know you’re sorry. I’m not mad.”

How can you not be when I _killed_ you?

“But you should,” is all I tell him. It doesn’t ease the lump nor does it break my chains.

Hide keeps quiet from his spot on the ground. I can’t quite see the look on his face from this angle, nor do I feel like I need to.

“You realize this is a dream, right?” Hide finally chooses to reply, his tone lacking the lightness it held a moment ago.

I nod, and the motion sends a few more droplets of blood toppling to the ground to stain the white and black squares red. “I know. You can’t be here because you died. _I_ killed you.”

Silence stretches on, the one usually filled with thoughts. Or _guilt_.

“So why do you think I’m here?”

I don’t reply. I don’t know the answer.

Hide huffs from his spot on the floor, the motion puffing his chest a little. When he breathes out, it feels like he’s leaving behind all the tension in the room.

Except I’m still chained here, unable to move, unable to reach him and hold his gaze. This is a detail that never changes, no matter how many times the nightmare comes back.

Hide never addresses my distance. Never replies to my guilty confessions, but never goes away, either. He always keeps laying on his spot, unmoving, even as the sunflowers by his feet grow taller and taller with every new nightmare, casting a shadow on his prone form that grows longer and longer, almost obscuring him. Almost burying him. They’re the only source of color in the otherwise creeping darkness. It seems fair that I can’t reach them to stain them even more impossibly red.

Hide tilts his head a bit to the side to glance in my general direction. “Come on, you do know why I’m here. Just say it, so that we can let go.”

I shake my head and the room is filled with the sounds of my chains as my body shakes in otherwise silent crying.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you do.” At his words, the handcuffs fall from my wrists, open. I choke on my tears, still refusing to stand up. Or to utter the words.

“I can’t let you go,” I manage without my voice breaking.

_How pathetic is it, that I can’t face you even in a dream?_

He grins at me, his head still tilted. There’s sadness in his eyes, but he still says the words with his most blinding smile. “I am _dead_. You need to let me go.”

I take my head into my hands, still shaking, still denying the reality in front of my eyes. Is it a dream? Is it a memory or just guilt? It doesn’t make a difference, as long as Hide remains dead.

“You need to let me go or else you won’t be able to live on, Kaneki. You know it. That’s why I’m here.” His smile becomes gentle. “You need to accept it and forgive yourself.”

“I can’t,” I repeat, and this time my voice does break. Hide doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t move at all, in fact. I hate it how much that stillness resembles death. I hate it, and I’m the one to blame for it.

I’m the one who killed him.

I’m the one who ate him, and yet he’s still here with me, smiling at me, talking to me like I never betrayed his trust. I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve his forgiveness.

I don’t deserve a friend like him.

Why couldn’t he have left me?

Why couldn’t I have _saved_ him?

“Then forget me.”

_What?_

“Forget me, I said. Everything about me. Forget it all,” he repeats, and my vision blurs. It must be the tears. I wipe them away, look again, look away.

The rest of the room is not blurry. I blink. Only Hide’s still prone form is, fading away at the edges. He doesn’t speak again.

This time, I do stand up. I don’t realize I even moved until I am facing him, his head close to my feet, my tears staining the black and white tiles around his face. There’s a calculating look in his eyes.

“Forget me,” he says, and his eyes look sad as a bright red stain comes out of nowhere on his right arm, expanding, expanding until it envelops him whole. It’s blood. Hide’s own blood I spilled when I’d bitten into his flesh.

I scream.

No, this can’t be happening.

I scream until my lungs give out. I scream in the vastness of the uncaring torture chamber.

This can’t be happening I won’t allow it I won’t I won’t I–

I scream it to Cochlea’s walls. I scream it and scream it until I wake up, whitening knuckles fisting my white kimono, and everything’s black and unseeing, under my bandages soaked in my own blood.

I scream until silence answers me, and I can’t remember anymore why my nightmare had upset my sleep, the smell of sunflowers still fresh in my nostrils.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149507585419/hideweek-day-five-sunny-day-black-white).  
>  I know I should be sorry for all the Angst, but I actually quite like how this one ficlet turned out. I think that Kaneki would feel tormented by Hide's memory in v14, torn between his guilt and his acknowledgement that Hide wouldn't regret his actions. Torn between remembering him because he was so important to him, and forgetting about him because his mind wouldn't be able to cope with his loss otherwise.  
> Anyway, if anyone is still reading this collection it would really, really make my day if you told me what you thought of it thus far. Pretty please with sugar on top? I'll just drop it here, but tomorrow is my birthday and hearing from you guys would be an amazing birthday present, however brief or incoherent (even constructive criticism is welcome, as long as it's not rude) ^-^  
> I know I'm just deluding myself since this work barely got any attention, but---  
> Anyhow, thanks for reading and have a lovely day!


	6. Of volatile passions and secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to play volleyball.”
> 
> “Hide, it’s still raining outside.”
> 
> “Mh.”
> 
> “Are you even listening? Earth to Hide. It's _pouring_.”
> 
> “I’m gonna learn to play volleyball. Did you see that bazooka serve? I’m gonna learn that one first. It was _so_ cool, Kaneki!”

Hide groaned, plopping down on the sofa as dramatically as his eight-year-old self could muster. Which wasn’t much, judging by his mother’s unimpressed gaze, or by Kaneki’s look of polite disapproval tinged with a bit of exasperation. **  
**

“Your mom is right, Hide. We’ll catch a cold playing outside in this rain.”

Hide pouted, faking betrayal. “Are you taking her side, Kaneki?” he clutched his chest in mock hurt. “And I thought you enjoyed playing baseball with me!”

“Not when it’s raining buckets,” Kaneki replied honestly, making Hide deflate again, effectively becoming one with the sofa cushions.

“Fiiiine,” he finally agreed, not without a pout. “You’re no fun. You’re an actual old man” he said, reaching for the tv remote once he recognized the look in his best friend’s eyes. The ‘I just got an unexpected opportunity to read and I will so take it’ Look. Go figure.

He started lazily flicking through tv channels just as Kaneki reached for his backpack and retrieved a thick looking book from it. Should’ve known that he had come here ready, Hide mused with a small smile, and his fingers on the device stilled for a second, enough for the tv to switch from commercials to the actual programming.

_’… really in good shape. I get the feeling we’re going to win this set. What do you say, Kunihira-sa… And here comes the killer serve of number 08, Oikawa-kun, latest addition to the team! It might be his first time on the court wearing Japan’s colours but his opponents sure doesn’t seem to think that way! Say, Kuni…’_

Hide tuned out the rest of that sentence, suddenly engrossed in the slow-motion replay of that service ace. A killer blast that slammed to the other side of the court with a ear-shattering _boom_.

That was so cool, Hide thought, gaping.

“Man, that was _so cool_ ,” he said out loud for Kaneki’s benefit.

“Mh-mh.”

Hide’s eyes were sparkling, all thoughts of rainy days and lost opportunities for playing baseball forgotten. Actually… Who cared about baseball anymore?

“I want to play volleyball.”

“Hide, it’s still raining outside.”

“Mh.”

“Are you even listening? Earth to Hide. It’s _pouring_.”

“I’m gonna learn to play volleyball. Did you see that bazooka serve? I’m gonna learn that one first. It was _so_ cool, Kaneki!”

Kaneki sighed, putting his book aside. In the last two years after their first approach he had come to learn a lot a about Hide. Surges of sudden interest weren’t abnormal, and they were usually super intense but also short-lived. Like a hurricane.

A fond smile found its way on his lips and he nudged at Hide’s side with the spine of his book, a silent request to move over. Hide instinctively made room for him, his eyes still glued to the tv screen.

Volleyball, uh?

That looked like a lot of work, Kaneki thought. Hide would tire of it pretty soon.

x.

This time it wasn’t raining outside, when Kaneki hesitantly asked the question: “Why the sudden interest?” He worried he already knew the answer.

Hide summoned a volume from his backpack. “It’s because of this book! Ghouls are _so_ interesting!”

Kaneki’s stomach dropped, and he had to resist the self-conscious urge to fix his eyepatch. He could only hope this would be just another one of Hide’s temporary surges of passion for something, and nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149557745939/hideweek-day-six-rainy-day-colourful-hide).  
>  Sorry if this ficlet was inconsistent. It's been a while since I've last written anything brief and light-hearted, and I know it shows.  
> Next and last chapter will hopefully be updated really soon. Maybe a day or two.


	7. Of queens, kings and checkmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wakey-Wakey, sleeping beauty,” singsonged an unfamiliar voice.
> 
> Hide blinked wearily, trying to make sense of his surroundings. His heart sank to his feet the moment he recognized those eyes.
> 
>  _Checkmate_ , her pupils said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this particular ficlet following a prompt asking me to write Hide and Eto interacting after V14, since the last day of Hideweek had no set prompt.  
> Take this fic as a giant AU and as a big question mark, too. Hide is hinted at being part of some shady businesses that might or might not have to do with the Garden. I tried my hardest to leave it open for interpretation, so feel free to read it your own way.

Leaving him there, unconscious and vulnerable in front of the reaper’s door, had been hard enough in itself. **  
**

Hide wasn’t about to deny his complete faith in Kaneki’s mental strength, nor to throw his careful planning out of the window just for the sake of sentimentality. He had to leave that place and tend to his wounds, he _knew_. But the knowledge that he might not make it back didn’t make that decision any simpler.

 _Hah. No, no way_. He wasn’t going to die in this disgusting place, he reasoned, on the verge of hysteria, fighting hard the tears already gathering in his eyes and struggling to focus on his surroundings as his mounting dizziness enveloped his senses.

 _Crap_. How much blood had he already lost? He wasn’t sure.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, both physical and emotional, he pushed open the passage, finding temporary relief in the bite of the cold, surfacing air.

He passed out just outside the sewers tunnels. His victory smile remained frozen on his face as his blood kept staining the concrete an ugly, mocking red.

x.

“Wakey-Wakey, sleeping beauty,” singsonged an unfamiliar voice.

Hide blinked wearily, trying to make sense of his surroundings. His heart sank to his feet the moment he recognized those eyes.

 _Checkmate_ , her pupils said.

Hide willed himself to make a neutral expression, right before he let his lips break into their fake, naïve and cheerful smile. “Uh, it appears that you tended to my wounds while I was unconscious,” he observed, looking down at himself, “I’m sorry for the nuisance, ma'am, but thank you so much for patching me up!”

That reaction seemed to amuse her, as though she’d been expecting it, and Hide knew.

_I fell right on her web, didn’t I? She was just waiting for an opportunity._

“That I did,” she confirmed, the amused glint never leaving her lips. “You’re in my apartment, by the way.” She slowly got up, crossed the room and drew back the curtains on her window, as if making a show of how comfortable she was in letting him guess his location. As though telling him she wasn’t worried he would divulge such an information.

Hide drank in her pose, the way her hands fell behind her back and her smile turned cunning and confident. He let himself smile again, noting her follow the curve of his lips. Sending a message of his own.

_The match is not over, yet._

Truth be told, Hide didn’t really feel half of the determination he was showcasing. But one thought made him strong. Just one.

“The CCG captured him, if that was what you were so worried about.”

Hide exhaled, low and deep, and let go of his mask. So that was it. Kaneki had made it.

A smug grin erupted on Takatsuki’s lips. She slowly made her way to the bookshelf on the left corner of the room, pretending to be absorbed in the task at hand as she read the names on the spines of those meticulously sorted books. “Say, Hideyoshi-kun, what would your friend have done with his life if the good ol’ me didn’t save you from bleeding out in that alleyway?” she asked, a lilt to her voice, as she picked one. “I thought you were smarter than that.” She flipped a few pages, made a bored expression, threw it away without bothering to put it back in its place.

Hide’s eyes were trained on the mug of coffee sitting on the desk beside her bookshelf, still steaming hot. Hazelnut latte, judging by the smell. “Just got a bit sidetracked,” was all he chose to reply. His eyes focused back on Takatsuki’s frail-looking shoulders. “Then again, you didn’t seem all that interested in my friend up until today. What changed?”

She giggled airily. She honest to God _giggled_ , Hide noted, suppressing a shiver. He wondered how many people had fallen for that mask.

She threw another book past her shoulder. “ _You_ changed, my dear,” she answered, turning back to him and snapping a book closed.

Hide blinked. Hah. Now he understood where this was going. It made sense.

“Does he know the little secret you’re hiding from him, Hideyoshi-kun? Oh, whoops, silly me. Of course he doesn’t!” she said breezily, before disappearing in the other room and coming back moments later, a tray full of breakfast in her delicate hands. She set it on his nightstand. The book she’d last picked from the shelf was sitting on it. _Othello_ , it read.

Hide smiled. “So now you’re kindly offering me your silence, but you want my help in exchange,” he guessed.

“So smart,” she cooed, close to his ear. “But I wouldn’t do anything as cruel as coercing you to help my cause. I know you want this just as much as I do.” She paused, got even closer and fake-whispered: “You want to see them rot together with their twisted birdcage, you little escapee bird!” The closeness made him shiver. He could feel her cold breath on his skin, her hungry lips inches apart from his jugular.

He remained impassive, and took a sip of his cappuccino. He knew her word couldn’t be trusted. He knew that people like her didn’t make deals, nor needed any outer help beside their own. This was just a power play, wasn’t it?

And yet, did he really have any other way out?

As soon as the mug was placed back on her tray with a click, she bit his earlobe, provocatively, and raised a tiny hand to his chest, right above his heart, as if to make sure that his mask of impassiveness wasn’t a show. It was. “So what will you do, my little Desdemona? Will you prove your loyalty in time and avoid bloodshed and heartache, I wonder? Or will you die by your loved one’s hands? What do you say, you little thing?” she thrilled, stepping away, joining the tips of her fingers before clapping once, ecstatic.

Hide broke into a rueful smile, admitting defeat. _Checkmate indeed_. He looked her squarely in the eyes, as he gave her his reply.

“I won’t die so easily, Ms. Takatsuki. I made him a promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149601456519/i-absolutely-love-your-writings-and-when-i-read).  
>  Thank you if you made it this far. And please do tell me if I made Eto ooc. I decided to keep this light and just made her toy with him, instead of trying to twist him (and thus probably made her ooc) because I didn't want for the fic to be more focused on Eto than him. I still plan on writing something darker and angstier featuring these two in the future, though. We'll see.  
> Thanks again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> [ Tumblr link](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/149319711599/hideweek-day-one-spring-red-it-will-be) in case anyone wanted to like/reblog it on there, too.  
>  If you read and liked this fic, please comment. I love validation \o/


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